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10 Moments When I Realized I Was Deeply In Love With You

I Like My Body When It Is With Your — E. E. Cummings

i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body.  i like what it does,
i like its hows.  i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric furr, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh…And eyes big love-crumbs,

and possibly i like the thrill

of under me you so quite new

 —

 

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Your head starts spinning and you might be losing your reason. Slowly you regain consciousness, and you realize you have lost track of time. Another hand grabs yours and doesn't let go. Those moments where you had to face the world alone are in the past now. You caught yourself adding a “You” at the beginning of your sentences, which used to start with an “I”. You’ve fallen, not into a black pit of loneliness, but into a reality of morning kisses and butterflies in your stomach at the end of each day.

Falling in love is like sailing in treacherous waters, and still be able to enjoy the journey, because most days are sunny, the sky is blue, and the nights are starry. It is now hard for you to feel cold when you have a person next to you who is also in love. 

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Your thoughts are all over the place, your heart races, and you ask yourself how is it possible it doesn't burst out of your chest. You are playing with fire and you don't heed the warning all the sad love poems express. You tried to flee from love but it is too late now. 

You’re past the point of no return. From time to time, you feel scared, and you still feel slightly shocked when you wake up to see a hand carefully placed on your thigh, suddenly you come to grips with the fact that you don't sleep alone anymore

You face two options, you either fight to keep this ethereal feeling, or you let fear take over, and you let it go. Life has taught you better and the scars from the past have made you wiser. You’re willing to go to hell and back just to keep that smile. There are specific moments in a relationship when you realize you are deeply in love. 

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I threw away the mask which hid my true self.



There was no point in pretending to be someone I was not, the moment you accepted my hate towards a certain film, or show, I felt comfortable enough to let go of that mask which hid my true self.


 
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You are willing to catch me if I fall.


Whether it is a blue Monday, or a sunny Saturday you have always been by my side. The others never stuck around to pick up my pieces; and then you came around, always willing to catch me if I fall, to grab my hand, and walk by my side.

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I was searching, but not for you.


How was I supposed to know that through small talk I was going to meet the love of my life? I was searching, but not for you, and yet, the moment you spoke my name, I wanted to make you mine. You, and I crossed paths, and you taught me, and made me love Jessica Jones, as well as those Adele’s songs I thought I hated.

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You bring out the best in me.


I always procrastinated and I was always late. This is no longer the case. I no longer wish to be late when I pick you up to go to our favorite restaurant. I just want to be the best version of myself when I'm with you.   

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Everything is different with you.


Walking on the park, watching a movie, talking hours on the phone, waking up at 3 am to answer your text, everything is different with you. It is thrilling, exciting… new. I felt butterflies in my stomach the first time we held hands, and I couldn’t even sleep the night we kissed.

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Words are not enough…


Words seem so limited whenever I try to tell you how you make me feel. I could start by saying I fell in love with your imperfections, and your 5 am looks, and it still wouldn't be enough. However, when silence fills up the room, I don’t seek to find a topic to break it; our silences are the only ones I feel comfortable with.

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I wanted to get to know you, only by what you had to tell me.


I never wanted to overly check your Twitter, or Facebook profile. The idea of organically getting to know you intrigued me. We have said what it needed to be said, and shared what it needed to be shared. I don’t see the point in digging up the past, because right now I have you.

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You know how to ease my mind


I know I’m not easy to deal with, even my parents still don’t quite get me. But you always find a way to ease my mind, or at least wait for the proper amount of time to ask me what it is wrong, and give me the space I need to figure things out.

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I wake up by your side


I open my eyes in the mornings, and I want to lay by your side forever. That urge to escape, pick up my clothes and run away is completely gone now. I love how our feet intertwine, and how is it OK if I just lay on my side, and not cuddle you.

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You held my hand


The night we went to our first concert together with the blasting beat of the drums, the adrenaline running high, I remember grabbing your hand. It was not the first time I had done it, and yet it felt like it was. I felt nervous again, I didn’t know what to do, I just saw you smiling, and I couldn’t help but smile too.

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The first time you realize you truly love someone the world changes. You might have been with others before, but this time everything is different. No matter the outcome, this relationship will remain with you, because it has offered you a lot and it has restored your faith in love. 





 

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